Now Playing: The Uncomfortable Pastor
Topic: Grandparenting

We are now living close to some of our grandchildren.  This is something new for us.  One policy grandparents should or do follow has been expressed to us by people from a wide spectrum; it would seem to be an almost universal approach.  It is basically this:  when you are with the grandchildren, spoil them rotten; at the end of the day when you have managed to turn them into thorough brats by your doting and when you have reached the end of your patience, you can send them home, because, after all, they are not your responsibility.  After verbalizing this policy, those speaking often produce a sinister chuckle.

 

Allow me to suggest that that policy has a very bad aroma!  Many Christian parents would like to see their children grow up to be responsible citizens and people who believe, love, and serve God.  Do we really think that as senior citizens we are now permitted to encourage these grandchildren in the ways of selfishness, self-centeredness, and ungodliness?  When were we given permission to abandon lives of righteousness and at this point stimulate wickedness in children for whom we are ‘not responsible’?

 

Have you ever listened as someone shares about their grandchildren?  Their grandchildren are awesome!  Sometimes the description is not so positive when given by other people who know the same children from other settings and other relationships.  Our eight grandchildren are good-looking, intelligent, and gifted in various ways.  But I can also tell you that they are devious and rebellious.  They sometimes do not know what is best for themselves, but they are concerned that no one else tell them what is.  They well exemplify (as did we) the truth King David wrote when he testified that he had been sinful from the moment of conception (Ps. 51:5).

 

So this brings me to ask:  What is the role of grandparents?  Maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but I really haven’t noticed much literature addressing this issue.  I did hear a talk show recently (unfortunately I was driving somewhere and can’t even state the source) on which the grandparents’ role was described something like making life fun for the little ones.  That may have some merit at least some of the time, but surely that is not the end of the matter.

 

Do you suppose the Bible says anything on the subject?  You won’t find a biblical book, chapter, or even verse addressed specifically to grandparents, as far as I can tell.  You may have to think creatively, but there is something there.  And I’d like to get you started.

 

We may not know exactly what the example is, but at the beginning of 2 Timothy the Apostle Paul mentions Timothy’s faith which was evident beforehand in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice.  Many wonderful sermons have been preached, especially on Mother’s Day, about the training Timothy received from his mother and grandmother.  Nothing like that is written specifically, though we may not be far wrong to suppose something like that took place.  In any case, Timothy’s grandmother was mentioned in a complimentary way as it related to her faith.  Perhaps we could conclude that grandparents should encourage grandchildren toward faith in Jesus Christ.

 

In the New American Standard Bible the word grandfather appears only twice (including plural forms, and so for the other words mentioned here as well), grandmother only once, granddaughter five times, grandson fourteen, and grandchild four.  So that relationship two generations removed is not mentioned frequently.  However, it is curious that in 2 Kings (e.g., 14:3) and 2 Chronicles (e.g., 28:1) numerous times the word father actually includes the meaning of ancestor or forefather.  In other words, father could include the relationship of grandfather.

 

Now in Proverbs fathers are mentioned at least twenty-seven times.  Many of these statements involve exhortations to observe the instruction of fathers.  I’m not going to try to prove here that the word father in Proverbs actually means grandfather, but if we acknowledge that elsewhere, why might we not suggest it here?  Grandparents certainly could be involved in the moral and spiritual training of their grandchildren.  There is no prohibition of training that comes from the generation twice removed.  Grandparents have sometimes not done well in raising grandchildren (when the parents for whatever reason are absent), but there is no reason why they might not do well if they will live and train in the revealed will of God.

 

2 Kings 11 and 2 Chronicles 23 give the account of Athaliah, the only woman who ruled for a time as sole sovereign over Judah.  Her description is insightful.  We are told in 2 Kings 8:26 and 2 Chronicles 22:2 that she was the granddaughter of Omri, who was earlier the king of the northern kingdom of Israel.  He was a very wicked king, who was the father of Ahab, who himself was so wicked that he provided the standard of wickedness by which later kings were measured.  One of his great acts of wickedness was to marry Jezebel who introduced Israel to certain kinds of idolatry.  The generation after was Athaliah.

 

Do you think grandparents influence the second generation?  They likely do via DNA and also via environment, especially if the grandchildren share in the environment.  And then there is the statement in Exodus 20:5 “You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me.”  (Cf. also Ex. 34:7, Num. 14:18, and Deut. 5:9.)  Surely Athaliah was responsible for her own beliefs and deeds, but she was influenced by her grandparents as well.  And when she was assassinated, all of Jerusalem rejoiced.  Selah!

 

In Matthew 18, Mark 9, and Luke 17 Jesus used a little child as an illustration.  He was using the child as an illustration of a believer.  And we understand that.  But since he used that child as an illustration, we should pause and look at the consequences to ourselves that our treatment of our grandchildren might have.  It is obviously not a game--it has serious consequences.  In Matthew 18:6 He said, “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

 

So, have all the fun you can with your grandchildren!  Live before them the life of someone who is established in the will of God!  Tell them the truth which your life exhibits to them!  Be part of the solution in passing on the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to the generation twice removed!